Quarantine and New Yorkers: The chaos of pausing

30 Mar Quarantine and New Yorkers: The chaos of pausing

New Yorkers are used to the rush. The city that never sleeps does not know how to stop.

Some love how challenging it is to live and work in New York: “If you make it here you can make it anywhere” according to the famous Frank Sinatra song. But what happens when New Yorkers have to stop? What happens in quarantine when one has to stay home alone or with family? What happens when work is secondary? If it becomes secondary, some people cannot stop because the break is non-tolerable mentally. What happens when productivity declines?

Of course, these questions may apply to anyone in any place but New York City is “The Big Apple.” A city characterized by its many opportunities and richness. New York’s nickname originated many years ago, during the 1920s with the big prizes (or “big apples”) rewarded at the racing-tracks in the area.

For many, productivity and overachievement represent who they are. For others, working and work related responsibilities allow them to avoid certain personal or family issues. Being a workaholic is a socially acceptable way of denying, filling or dodging certain lacks, flaws and insecurities.

Staying at home with the family might be a challenge for many right now. Spending time with the kids who do not have school and want to be with mom or dad might be a huge stress for some. Being with the children at home, confront many with their lack of patience, short temper or deficiencies at performing the parenting role. Also, the spouse is at home, he or she might ask for some time together or look for attention; or he/she (or both) might be avoiding that conversation or issue that has never been discussed because they are not able to find “the right time.”

For those who are at home alone, it is not easy either, they might be confronting their loneliness or trying a hundred things in order not to confront it. Without knowing it, some people have free time and the break makes them think about what they have not done in a while or never done before. Many are questioning their life choices, always coming back to the same excuses, and many others might be trying to look for a change without knowing where to start or what to do.

This break will create chaos for many and not just financially. We are used to going through life without thinking or questioning much, “It is what it is”, “everything happens for a reason, “the show must go on.” It is always easy to place the responsibility for our choices or lack of them on destiny, other people or simply dodge them.

The break, this new reality, this re-organization in our lives might interrupt our priorities, needs and wants. It might also show our poor capacity to enjoy the small things. In times where doing yoga, taking macramé classes or watching Netflix could be the only thing to do during the day, many do not enjoy them or feel they are a waste of time.

Worthiness is in direct proportion to productivity, money and work in our society. The problem is, we are paying a price for not being able to perform in other areas. We are losing touch with human feelings and emotions, even our own. We are losing the ability to connect with the closest people around us. We are losing awareness of what we want and what is important. Being a New Yorker comes with a high price tag for some.

However, for many others, being at home is also a time of re-encounters. A re-encounter with a wife, a hobby, a friend, a lover, a musical instrument. A re-encounter with desire, a re-encounter with a personal lack also, but this lack is taken or seen from a different perspective. From this view, the lack is accepted, confronted with full responsibility making possible a change and a new creation.

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Questioning oneself and ones surroundings is a rebellious act in a society where psychotropic medication, positive attitude, positive thinking and behavior modification are the answers to human existence. The Coronavirus pandemic is not only challenging our “power of adaptation and change”, it is also a social and human challenge at this point. This is more than a virus outbreak, it is a social outbreak. Whatever theory you might have about the origin and spread of Coronavirus, as well as the inefficiencies of governments to deal with this pandemic, it highlights the vulnerability of the human being and the lack of infrastructure to deal with public health disasters such as a pandemic. The ironies, unfairness and cruelty of the system are manifesting themselves for both the rich and the poor, when healthcare professionals have to work without having essential protection, lack of equipment and making heartbreaking decisions, while an expensive and very harmful 5G technology is supported widely. What are our priorities right now? Well, we are shaping our present and future, a time of introspection and analysis is needed for all of us. The death drive needs to be regulated.

Everything will change during and after Covid-19, we do not know how but it is a must to pay attention, be aware of what is going on with ourselves, our society and governmental decisions, because we have a responsibility to ourselves and future generations whether we like it or not.

Gabriela R. Giuggioloni MA, LCSW-R

This may interest you: Mental Health in Quarantine: “The excesses”